About the Books

Book: Having Tried Everything & The String Theory Beginning With Me

Author: Tonia Colleen Martin

Genre: Coffee Table Gift, Adult Fairytale Illustrated

Release Date: July, 2019

Having Tried Everything

Sleep often eludes. We try this and we try that. Still, the night gives a wake up call we’d rather not answer. “Having Tried Everything” is the story of a terminally lonely insomniac who does answer. Stepping from the rut of routines and rituals, moving from the known to the unknown, she discovers not only mercy and abundance but who she is and the travesty and redemption of what it means to be human. “Having Tried Everything” is at once actual, metaphorical, providential and inexplicably true. The “YOU” in the story is both the reader and the writer. The very act of embracing this narrative provides the first step toward the wonderland of connection, acceptance and gratitude. Where words abbreviate the astonishment of God’s signature on creature and creatures, the illustrations enhance and annotate. Suitable for all dreamers and courageous pragmatists.

The String Theory Beginning with Me

The String Theory Beginning With Me is an illustrated prose poem tracing the journey to freedom from an internal landscape of chaos and fear. Using specific images from the natural world, this story condenses and simplifies a very slow, methodical transformation indicative of those who consistently seek the larger experience of living both in and beyond the here and now. Because of its metaphorical language and its delicate presentation, The String Theory Beginning with Me, has a universal appeal and is an ideal gift for both contemplatives and the spirited.

Click here to to get your copy of Having Tried Everything and here to get your copy of The String Theory Beginning with Me.

Interview with Tonia Colleen Martin

Who would you say inspired you the most in your life?I have a dear friend who mentored me through deep sorrows. I know many Christian women who have influenced me and supported me but my one friend in particular knows the ickiest parts of me and walked through them with me to the other side. I’ve borrowed her faith over and over. Because I was emotionally and spiritually supported in so many raw and devasting seasons, I was able to grasp the life-giving creativity that God poured into me. Certainly with the gift of painting and writing God partnered with me in the very processes he uses to clarify and deepen my faith. But having a flesh and blood Jesus in my friend as a first responder equipped me to move forward when I would have easily crumbled.
If you could spend the day with anyone (living or dead) who would it be? Of course the answer is Jesus, not Jesus in the flesh and blood, but Jesus showing up in the words of individuals like the friend described above. Jesus in the encouraging words of my husband. But I have to admit, the luxury of being alone with no time commitment and being able to paint at leisure is sheer joy and grounds for rejuvenation. Why? Painting and watching what happens to an idea I begin to watercolor and watching it develop and then seeing it completed, as strange as it seems, feels like being loved by an inanimate being. It’s very strange, I know & certainly not true, but it is a visceral sensation. When I complete a painting I can honestly point at it and say, “Look what God did,” without any sense of pride of ownership, just wonder. It is the same with writing, especially poetry. Novels also but the two I have completed are not yet perfected and I am still working on final edits.
Do you have a special writing area? Yes, I do. A spare bedroom transformed into a studio. I love it. I am surrounded by my paintings and books and can see through the tree branches outside the window. I can shut the door!
How do you balance writing time with the demands of life/family? With fear and trembling! I can’t do it, not even for one day without prayer and faith. Currently, my 85 yr. old mother and 90 yr. old father, still living on their own, but just barely, need lots of help. It’s difficult to know what is mine to do and what is beyond me. I also have grand children and you know how quickly they grow and change. They are nearby. I don’t want to miss a thing, so it can get dicey in terms of picking and choosing. I could improve on choice making.
What kind of research do you do? I’m curious about everything. I’m interested in trauma and grace, in narrative healing practices, in learning to listen well and understanding the impact of my history on my creative practices. Although I have been encouraged, and rightfully so to “know my audience,” the first order of business is to know me because my initial drafts of whatever are always spanned by a deep need to communicate something to myself.
How long do you spend researching before beginning a book? I don’t. I write from a “lyrical impulse” and work backwards. I know, it sounds strange. I didn’t come up with that analysis on my own, a quite famous editor assessed my work that way. It amused me but at the same time it did hit the nail on the head.
Was there anything you found interesting while researching the topic? Oh yes, EVERYTHING interests me, which is a problem and it can take me down a tipsey turvey trail that seems off course as the information may or may not be needed.
Do you have any writing quirks? Yes I tend to write with a passive voice and it drives me crazy since it is so instinctive. It’s a protective mechanism ingrained in me by growing up in an environment where questions were thwarted and even punished.
Do you read much? I read all the time. I have stacks of books everywhere. I love the quirky books and can get sucked in by language even when the narrative is somewhat inferior. I love everything by C.S. Lewis – fiction and non-fiction. I can still remember the thrill of having Little Pilgrim’s Progress read to me at the age of 5 or so, maybe 7.
What is different about writing non-fiction vs fiction? Fiction is like stepping into a cave with a dim light, listening for the ping of water, hoping not to be buried, grasping for language to embody the sensations and scenery. Non-fiction is like walking into a defined venue and reporting on what is there and then asking why. It is much less subjective and wobbly. Would you say one is easier than the other? Non-fiction, absolutely.
Anything else you'd like to share? Flesh Made Word: Writing as an act of incarnation is the title of the thesis lecture I gave for my graduation at Vermont College of the Arts. Just in case anyone wants to dig in deeper, here’s the link:

https://www.societyarts.org/flesh-made-word.html

About the Author

While I was still feeble in my selfness and narrow in my horizons, I became a collector of words. Words often come and go all on their own. I do my best to arrange them in beautiful order. This particular arrangement is called Having Tried Everything: An exploration of redemption, hope and possibility through the eyes of a terminally lonely insomniac. It is at once actual, metaphorical, providential and inexplicable. The “YOU” in the story is both the reader and myself as the writer/artist. Thank You for stepping into this with me. The weight of this truth is surprisingly heavy and less accessible than I would like it to be. Divine Love and His intervention is the hope I often forget to cling. The Lie: You are alone and will end alone, has subtly confused me without my knowledge or consent for a very long time. My ability to escape its debilitating effects is in direct proportion to name it as a lie. The miracle of being designed for relationship with the living God despite my frailties continues to astound me. My value as a human being is not predicated on my good behaviors or bright countenance, but rather by God’s compassion and mercy. The unshakeable truth of my wealth given freely to me by nature of my design and God’s generosity is not mine alone. Thus, the You in the story is ours together. God bless you as you consider with me the miracle of God’s unmerited favor towards us based on nothing we’ve worked for or earned.

More from Tonia

On Labor Day morning, I woke up to an email reminding me I missed a deadline.

This is not the kind of message that incites creativity.

And now sitting here in my front garden, trying to imagine the sound of the neighbor’s leaf blower as that of a vigorous wind warming up to deliver an epic end-of- summer storm, I am face to face with a wordless me wondering how to communicate the enormity of what I want to be say…after all, what happens in these two little, tiny, shrunken, abbreviated, synthetic replications of what actually occurred in the chronological space of history crosses into speculative territory. And I haven’t even met you.

If you dream of traveling but time, money or fear has held you back, The String Theory Beginning with Me is a story boat meant to sail you safely into the intergalactic waters of your own lonely soul. If you worry about failure, Having Tried Everything is an illustrated syllabus developed from a rubbing pressed against the gravestone of a dream, carefully framed by God’s healing light. Both books are designed to give you a holiday from clock watching and move you into a space of heart throb time.